This list is less about convincing your self you’re not a terrible person and more about doing things that can help you calm down and perhaps eventually reflect on the reasons why you’ve wound up beating yourself up.
Drawing, Bullet Journals, making lists, doodling, playing with pens or stickers or colors. Writing out your angers and/or your sadness and all that jazz. Don’t forget to reflect on what you create, recognize the unhealthy or negative patterns or thoughts.
Clean your home, do laundry, do some obnoxious task you’ve been meaning to do forever (I’ve needed to get printer ink for like 3 years!), organize your book or CD or DVD collections. Anything that can help distract you from repetitive negative thoughts by doing simple repetitive tasks.
Go to a safe space
Take a walk to a park, walk around your neighborhood. Take a drive (Make sure you are calm enough to drive before doing this– deep breaths work even if it sounds cheesy). Go to a library, bookstore, coffee shop. If you feel comfortable spending some money, treat yourself to a movie or some food. Grocery shopping can be relaxing (sometimes….).
Talk to someone
This may seem like the hardest one but perhaps the most helpful. Your stresses don’t have to be secrets. Also non-verbal comfort like hugs can be really comforting. I feel like usually when people are self loathing it’s a very inner-personal struggle and physical comfort can be difficult to accept, but it can also be rewarding.
Make a cake for no reason. 🍰Maybe decorate it with cheerios and spell out “why not”. Watch the rain outside your window or people watch. Dig into some shows/ YouTube videos that you know will make you laugh or keep you entertained.
These are some things I know help me, but if you have other suggestions feel free to comment below.